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Anyone who is not aware that the Mental Health services are at their weakest must be parked on planet Zogg!

The £133 million budget, supporting those through within the local Devon NHS Partnership (Mental Health) is ragged at best. Principally, it is left to a stitch frayed patchwork of over-stretched health workers and non expert meaningful local charities offerings of art therapy (or such like), or equally questionable activities of social engagement. To describe a system as 'broken' you need to have a system in the first place. In the case of the Mental Health services, in this area, they do not seem to exist. If you do not conform to their model of 'complete nutter' or someone who has a history of being sectioned under any of the mental health acts, then you become very low down the pecking order to get any form of the support. There is a position of 'Fire Brigade' type response, becoming the solution before someone can get any active help (if they are lucky enough). They need to wait for absolute trauma and then they are directed or 'off-loaded by other agencies' , to the call handling services. The likes of the Samaritans or the Crisis Intervention Team, neither of which can provide much beyond a chat.

My life has become a  simple process of clock watching. My take is that you need to be 'hanging from the bridge' before anyone offers support or guidance. I now have nothing but contempt for most mental health professionals and their systems and lack of honesty. There are currently a series of statements that appear on my medical records, that inform anyone with access to the Health Service data system, that have added to my distress.

One statement describes that I was 'subject to a court appearance for paedophilia' and another claims that I was 'found in possession of indecent images of children' and was 'let off'.

Then to complete a 'get the boot in' full character assassination through defamation, I was described in another  report as someone who was in 'denial' about a drink problem and alcoholism.  WHAT DRINK PROBLEM?  I challenge anyone to randomly search my house, at any time, to find an alcoholic drink. My colleagues of past would comment "You don't drink, do you? Is it a religious thing? Are you a Mormon or Muslim?"

On the 9th January 2017, having identified these 'material inaccuracies' (polite term for 'fucking life impacting statements') I went on to challenge the content through a formal NHS complaint procedure. Over four months later, on the 25th May 2017 I received a report from the Chief Executive of Devon Partnership NHS Trust.  They have accepted errors are held on their system, after seeking the input of 12 senior health professionals, but the process of having these records changed, without guarantee, involves petition to the 'Parliamentary and Health Service Ombudsman'. The Ombudsman will only action any process after an adjudication is made by a court. My state benefits do not stretch to employing barristers to pay for such action. 

The report states (in line with Devon Partnership Trust Records Keeping Policy- GV06 9.2.1) that 'Factual errors should be corrected ...... ensuring that the original entry can still be read'. Here the real sting in the tail. The report states that  'Your clinical notes are unable to be changed'  This, for me, is an alarming state of affairs.

The damage has been done by the professionals involved, with my feelings are determined from fear, is to not engage with medical personnel who are working with incorrect information and now running with the 'No smoke without fire' pedlars. My action (or inaction)  is predicated on a fear of  repeating the side swiping previous conversation with a doctor (in late 2016) clearly under the impression I had been fully engaged in paedophile behaviour, much an attitude derived from the defaming information they have on file. I am tormented about seeking medical advice for my diabetes, high blood pressure and long term Reactive Arthritis (or even a head injury accidents, a recent fall left me with a corker of a blackeye and temporary loss of vision). All theses ailments will have to be put on the back burner, until I feel confident to re-engage with medical personnel.

"I don't think I'm paranoid, it's just everyone (and everything) seems to be against me."

[The report was completed by the investigator before the 2nd May 2017. I was sent a copy of the report by email on the 25th May 2017 (PP signed off by someone associated with the CEO of the health authority). The tone of the document is presented as though they are ready for a court hearing to defend their actions. Has it been passed through many of the health authorities lawyers hands before despatch? I wonder.]